“It is not until I have a girl friend and have conflicts with her do I realize how narrow-minded I was being, how ungentle-man-liked I was at the moment. So I sincerely apologize to you! And hope treat you one day when you’re available~”
Half and one year have passed on, and finally I receive his sorry. But to my surprise, the moment I got his message, the moment I saw his sorry, I should find myself pass caring. Having been a stranger to each other for several months, I have got used to this situation, and strangely, enjoy it.
The stroy between he and I have to be traced back to the earlier time when I came to uni. I, for the first time living a dorm life, felt uncomfortable, confussed, and a little bit afraid. But fortunately I met him, Zhiguang. He too comes from Huizhou and took care of me very much– shown me around the campus (though he was a freshman himself), had meal with me, helped me with my bank account. We were best friends at that time till an incident ruined all the friendship.
We two had planned to join a mountain-climb activity as teamates that times. Then we agreed to have supper together with other teamates. I can’t remember the time we made, but when Jenny and I reached the canteen on time, only to find we two were the only persons arrived. We waited, waited, for ten minutes? Or fifteen minutes? Whatever. The ponit is that to me, whose biggest defect is lack of patience, it seemed a decade long. Where were they? What were they doing? How could they boys have us girls waiting for such a long time?! As I was seethed with rage, they arrived. Ok, calm down, you see here came they fially, I said to myself. But then he added “we have to wait another more minutes for others are still on their way”. This was the last straw. I shouted to him, dragged Jenny’s arm and walked away angrily.
Even to me now, how silly, sutpid and even disgusting I was being at the moment?! And the same regnizition struck me after we walked away. So waited no minutes, I called him. For the first time, no answer; the second, responsed a rather indifferent voice. “We’re eating now…Uh, it’s unnecessary. It’s better we eat seperately.” He gave no time for me to apologize. He was angry, too, bacause of my ill tempter.
Since it’s my fault, in the following days I tried every means to find occation to express my sorry to him but in vain. However, chance came soon afterwards. It’s the day for the climb activity. We were in different teams. I spotted him among the crowd: he was signing in with the help of staff. Then, I did one of the regretest thing in my life: I approached him, stood behind him, quitely I jerked his shirttail, waitinf for his turning around. Then he did turning around, but ignored me and talked with his teamate. And I, just stood there still. Shed tears? I can’t remember. I knew he knew it was me, but…I swore to myself I would never do such a stupid thing! Never! And his reflection also made me feel that he wasn’t worth being my friend!
However, things went on out of my expectation. He and I attended the same 思想政治class that term. And the other day the teacher focued on the topic: change, and embrace new life. Change? New life? To me, who had been prey to depression by this incident, it just liked the most effective solution to end my suffering. I looked around, searching for his sign. And then I did another regretest thing I’ve ever done: took a deep breath, went forwards the teacher’s desk, sat down and ajusted the mike. In front of a class, I converyed my apology to him.
God know why I could have courage to do such a …stupid, crazy, embarrassed thing! The moment I got my chair, I was exhausted, but felt relaxed also. As for what he said after my “speech”, I didn’t concerned about it. He would accept my apology, and also would apologize to me, I knew. But that didn’t come from his mind, for he was forced to do so (otherwise he would not have said sorry again today). Anyway, from that day on, we did not contact with each other, untill today…
“I have to say sorry to you, too. And I’m looking forward your feast!” I replied his message in this way.
In fact, I’m not looking forward to his treat, instead felling uncomfortable and little upset. I don’t know how to communicate with boys already, and I’m totally at sea how to talk with such a boy again.
Additionally, I learn from his call that it’s his girl friend who asked him to do so. He told the story to another person, and because of her, he feels sorry to me.
Then just let me be my little woman. I accept your apology, but I’m afraid I will not appreciate it.
Throughout the case, obviously I have faults. But I had tried every means to make it up, every means, but you didn’t accept it, even… but on the other hand, I feel myself fortunate– this time I see you well.